


Make Up, Shake Up, Break Up

by Chiharu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Boyband, Kunimi's whisper is the lucier, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 14:08:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4708793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiharu/pseuds/Chiharu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"My life is over," Oikawa declares. No one points out that this is what Oikawa had said when he was filmed dancing in his underwear on Running Man. Or when Oikawa slipped on stage at MCountdown after the staff failed to clean up the water from KARAsuno's performance of Umbrella ("I hate JYP groups," Oikawa had whined backstage while Iwaizumi slapped a Pororo bandaid on his forehead. "May Tobio-chan forever be haunted by the sound of Park Jinyoung whispering 'JYP' into his ears." "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy," Iwaizumi had laughed in response.) Or when Oikawa cross-dressed on Star King and was forced to tango with F.KDN's Bokuto. Really, Oikawa's list of grievances was larger than Ushiwaka's old nose, or so he claims every time they bump into SHINHWAtorizawa at music shows. </p><p>AKA the boyband fic where Seijou is SHINee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Up, Shake Up, Break Up

Everything goes downhill when Iwaizumi accepts the lead role in the high jump drama. Or, as Kunimi likes to remind Oikawa, when Manager-san accepted the role on Iwaizumi’s behalf. 

"But Wednesday is our _night_ ," Oikawa says, aggressively hugging the giant UFO doll his fanclub gifted him for his eighteenth birthday. 

Matsukawa doesn’t bother looking up from stirring his giant pot of ramen. He peers over their portable stove and makes a tsking noise, looking slightly alarmed when Kunimi approaches him with an armful of frozen vegetables from their barren freezer. "We're not putting anything you suggest in here again."

When Kunimi makes a marginally annoyed face, Hanamaki pipes up from the bathroom. "Leader almost had to get his stomach pumped out last time, Maknae!"

"He's fine now," Kunimi says, looking at the lump on the couch where Oikawa is sitting, his entire body rolled into a One Piece blanket. 

"My life is over," Oikawa declares. No one points out that this is what Oikawa had said when he was filmed dancing in his underwear on Running Man. Or when Oikawa slipped on stage at MCountdown after the staff failed to clean up the water from KARAsuno's performance of Umbrella ("I hate JYP groups," Oikawa had whined backstage while Iwaizumi slapped a Pororo bandaid on his forehead. "May Tobio-chan forever be haunted by the sound of Park Jinyoung whispering 'JYP' into his ears." "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy," Iwaizumi had laughed in response.) Or when Oikawa cross-dressed on Star King and was forced to tango with F.KDN's Bokuto. Really, Oikawa's list of grievances was larger than Ushiwaka's old nose, or so he claims every time they bump into SHINHWAtorizawa at music shows. 

Eventually, Matsukawa turns off the stove and says, "Let's eat." When Oikawa takes a seat at their tiny kitchen table, Matsukawa adds, "Look at it this way. At least we don't have to wake up at 4am everyday like Iwaizumi."

"Or kiss Shimizu Kiyoko on camera," Kunimi says innocently. 

"How do you have so much evil hidden inside of that tiny body?" Matsukawa asks when Oikawa storms back into their shared bedroom.

Kunimi shrugs and reaches for a bottle of hot pepper paste. "My whisper is the lucifer." 

It turns out that, while they did not have to accompany Iwaizumi to early filmings, it was still a hassle to hear him wake up and fumble around the bedroom at ass o' clock in the morning. 

"Why don't we all use this break to try something new?" Manager-san suggests the next day. The last time he said that, they'd been roped into a 13-episode Hello Baby contract that simultaneously cemented Iwaizumi's Best TV Husband status and gave birth to several Oikawa-inspired internet memes. They're about to protest when Manager-san offers to take them out for BBQ, which effectively bribes everyone present. 

In the end, management signs Matsukawa up for Master Chef Celebrities and procures a spot on the next season of Dream Team for Hanamaki. Kunimi gets roped into participating in Maknae Rebellion and, against everyone's judgement, Oikawa is given a radio hosting gig. 

This goes well for approximately four days before Oikawa gets in trouble for throwing shade at Ushijima on the air. SHINHWAtorizawa's fans cry in outrage and begin posting hate comments online. A particular group of netizens decides to punish Oikawa in the worst way possible by shipping him with Ushijima, which inspires an influx of new fics and fan theories that overtake their fancafes.

When questioned about the non-scandal by the Maknae Rebellion host, Kunimi puts on his fakest smile and says, "Our Leader really admires Ushiwaka-san. He wants to surpass him because he respects him so much."

"Isn't his name Ushijima?" KARAsuno's Hinata, another regular, asks.

Kunimi looks into the camera directly and says, "yes. That's Touru-senpai's nickname for Ushijima-san. They’re very close."

"YOU'RE DEAD TO ME," Oikawa tells him that night, before he heads out for the studio. He hasn't been this petty since Hanamaki made fun of his lines in LOVE LIKE OXGYEN on Star Golden Bell and caused Kunimi, whose public record had been spotless until then, to burst out laughing for five full minutes. "Don't make me reveal all your secrets on public radio," Oikawa says. 

"That’s a good idea." Kunimi peers up from behind the couch. "Our shipping subthread has been rather quiet lately." He shrugs when Oikawa is chaperoned away by Manager-san.

If anything, Maknae Rebellion only enables Kunimi's bad habits. First, he introduces NU'EKOMA's Haiba Lev to Love Live! ("I'm holding all of you responsible," Kuroo said over the phone to Iwaizumi as SNOW HALLATION blasted from his end of the line). In the fourth episode, Kunimi convinces Hinata to play a prank on Kageyama that ends with Hinata in tears after Kageyama storms off set. Then Kunimi has the audacity to play the arbitrator on film as Hinata and Kageyama makes up in the dressing room.

"You've changed," Kindaichi tells him when EKSO guests on the show.

Kunimi rolls his eyes. "So has your allegiance. You shoot one episode of Running Man with KARAsuno, and suddenly you're going Karoking at the JYP building and having sleep overs with the Wonder Crows."

"I'm not having sleep overs with the Wonder Crows. Saeko-san terrifies me." Kindaichi pauses, remembering his friend's taste in women. "But you wish you were."

"Yeah," Kunimi says after a while, a rare smile on his face. They're interrupted when the host calls them on stage for a dance battle between the SM maknaes. "Scared of embarrassing yourself?"

"Please," Kindaichi grins as he pushes Kunimi forward. "Don’t say something you’ll regret.”

The temporary calm in their dorm ends when Iwaizumi's drama begins airing. Oikawa issues a mandatory decree that they watch the show together while Iwaizumi continues filming. Through some miracle, all four of them assemble in the dorm in time to catch the first episode. Matsukawa spends the opening intro ordering take out while Hanamaki washes glitter out of his hair. When Oikawa screeches, "you guys are missing out on Iwa-chan's entrance," Kunimi procures a stack of cut-out uchiwas with Iwaizumi's face glued on the sides. "There were girls waiting underneath our building," Kunimi explains, unfazed.

They have unofficial viewing parties Monday and Tuesday nights, Oikawa sprawled across the couch with his legs on Matsukawa and Hanamaki's laps while Kunimi plays on his ipad. When Oikawa wines too loudly about Iwaizumi's large forehead on screen, Kunimi threatens to read out spoilers in the middle of the episode. Matsukawa holds up two pieces of fried chicken to Leader and Maknae in the hopes of creating a truce. It works until Hanamaki leans over and steals Oikawa's chicken leg. 

This goes on for three weeks until Iwaizumi walks in on them in the middle of episode 5. "What the hell?" Iwaizumi says, turning the lights on and causing everyone to jump from their spots. Iwaizumi still has one arm in his coat when Oikawa launches himself at him. "Don't fall for Shimizu Kiyoko!"

"What?" Iwaizumi asks, pushing Oikawa's head away and glancing at everyone's matching uchiwas of his face. "What the hell is wrong with you all?"

"We missed you, Senpai," Kunimi says sweetly. 

Iwaizumi squints.

"Leader missed you," Matsukawa adds, his attention back on the screen. "How was filming?"

"It ended today," Iwaizumi says, flopping down on the couch and ignoring Oikawa's adamant NO SPOILERS!. "How was the cooking?"

Matsukawa raises his eyebrows. "Disqualified. I lost an elimination match against Hitoka-chan. Her Crème brûlée beat my home-made Milk Bread." He laughs when Oikawa feigns outrage. 

"How about you?" Iwaizumi asks when Hanamaki passes him the pizza box.

"I beat Bokuto's time on the obstacle course and sent him into a depressive episode." Hanamaki stretches and sets his head down in Matsukawa's lap. Reflexively, Matsukawa's hands land on his shoulders, rubbing circles into Hanamaki's back. "I'm too old this. They should send Akira out next time."

"They should not," Kunimi says, fanning Hanamaki with Iwaizumi's face. 

Oikawa makes a disgruntal noise then, eyes fixated on the tv. "Everyone, pipe down. I want to see Iwa-chan on tv."

“I’m right here,” Iwaizumi says, bopping Oikawa on the head.

Later, when they're in bed and Iwaizumi is drifting off, he hears the distinct sound of Oikawa calling his name. "What, Shittykawa?" Iwaizumi grunts out.

"Tomorrow is Wednesday," Oikawa whispers. "Do you have plans?"

Iwaizumi makes an annoyed sound into his pillow. "I plan on sleeping."

"Wedneday is our night," Oikawa continues, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "Let's do something together."

"Fine." Iwaizumi shifts in his bed. "Go to sleep."

"Mmm. Night, Iwa-chan. Good night, Makki and Mattsun."

"Oh, now we exist." Hanamaki snorts from the top bunk on the other side of the room. 

"Good night," Matsukawa says.

"Night, Maknae~"

After a beat of prolonged silence, Oikawa raises his head and looks at Kunimi's bunk. "Maknae?"

"Please stop talking, Senpai," Kunimi replies, his voice sleepy.

"Not until you wish us goodnight~"

A groan, followed up, "Good night, everyone." Then, almost hesitantly, he whispers. "JYP~"

"Fuck," four sets of voices chorus in the darkness.


End file.
